


Winter and Whisky

by thewintersky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Protective Bucky Barnes, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-08-13 01:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20165650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewintersky/pseuds/thewintersky
Summary: Hi, this is my first fic. I'm in love with Bucky Barnes so here we go.Reader and her brother have been on the run ever since the incident. After ten years of running and hiding, the Avengers come to collect them and take them under their wing as new recruits to the team. They begin their training with the Avengers and live at the compound. But Reader has got more on her plate – the attention of more than one of the male avengers. But she only has eyes for one.





	1. You

You felt them entering the building. They were strangers – you didn’t recognise their auras. 

Fear gripped you; no one ever came to visit you and your brother. Who would? Neither of you had any friends, and you had no family aside from each other. Your neighbours whispered about you and cast you dark glances, judgement and fear in their eyes. No. No one who knew anything about the two of you would ever come to visit. 

‘Harry?’ you called out, your voice trembling. ‘Harry, there are people coming. Strangers.’

Your big brother came stalking out from the shabby bedroom, his dark hair tangled and greasy, just like yours. You tugged nervously at your own long strands of hair, saying ‘They’re on the stairs. Second floor, making their way up. 

He clenched his hands into fists, dark eyes reckless as the electricity began to flow through him, sparking at his fingers. Static energy filled the small, dank room.

‘They’re here,’ you whispered. A loud thumping knock came at the door. You rose from your perch on the moth-eaten sofa, making to open it, but Harry gently pushed you back and signalled for you to wait behind him.

He unlocked the door and opened it slowly, dragging out the loud _ creak _ of the hinges. 

‘Who are you? What do you want?’ he growled through the door, and the electricity balled up in his hand, crackling and spitting. As he peered through the gap in the door, you heard him give a soft gasp. He was blocking the strangers from your view, and you were unable to see who they were.

‘Easy, man,’ came a strong voice. ‘We’re not going to hurt you…’ You sensed a softness there. You recognised his voice. You recognised it from the TV, from the news, from the media. 

‘Unless you give us reason to,’ finished another voice.

You saw your brother’s tense form slacken slightly, and he opened the door wider.

Standing outside were none other than Ironman and Captain America, and behind them the Black Widow and Scarlet Witch. 

‘The Avengers,’ your brother let out, and you saw the electricity flicker and fade briefly. ‘Why… why are you here?’

‘Here as in London?’ said Tony Stark lightly. ‘Well, even we like to do some light travelling during the holidays.’

You were confused. This wasn’t all of them. Where were the others? You closed your eyes and felt for their presence, reaching with your senses until you identified two auras on the roof of the nearest building to your left and another two to the right.

‘Harry, there are more of them,’ you said. ‘Two on each of the neighbouring roofs.’ Instantly, Harry sparked up again, stiffening once more.

‘The sister,’ the Black Widow identified. ‘She’s here, too.’

‘As we’d hoped,’ said Tony. ‘And she’s good, too. Very good. This is good.’

‘What do you want with my sister?’ Harry snarled.

‘No, no, don’t get me wrong, you’re great, too, Sparky,’ said Tony.

‘We’re here for both of you,’ said Cap, taking a more serious tone.

Harry spoke to you without turning his head. ‘Hostile?’

‘Unsure,’ you replied. 

‘Please, we’re here to help,’ said Natasha, stepping forwards gingerly. ‘We know who you are, what you do, what you’ve been through.’

‘We’re here to bring you back to the Avengers Compound in the States,’ said Cap. ‘To live and train there, with us.’

‘You… you want us to… _ join you _?’ you asked, unable to keep the excitement from your voice. You stepped closer, despite your brother’s warnings.

‘What makes you think we’d want to come?’ said Harry testily.

‘Listen,’ said the Scarlet Witch, speaking up for the first time. ‘These powers you both have… they’re a responsibility, as well as a liability. You could be dangerous to society, as you have proved with minor occurrences in the past. I know it might not be what you want, but for the safety of the general public…’ She trailed off.

‘We just want to help you,’ said Cap. ‘This life you have – it’s tough. Especially when you’re alone. You don’t know what you’re capable of. You need help, and training to help you control your powers so that maybe you can use them for good.’

‘Basically, you guys could be very powerful and we’d like to have you on the team,’ Tony concluded.

‘If you want to help us, like you say, then why are you all geared up and ready to fight?’ Harry asked. 

‘We have to be prepared in case you get all defensive and freak out on us,’ said Tony, gesturing down at his suit and Cap’s shield. ‘Which, by the way, you are definitely _ not _ doing.’

Your brother had always been defensive. ‘Maybe we don’t _ need _ your help. We can get by. We have for the past ten years – where were you then? And we _ know _ what we’re capable of… maybe I’ll show you to prove it.’ The sparks in his fists grew in intensity as he spoke, and the Avengers adopted defensive stances against your brother’s oncoming attack.

You stepped up and gently put your hand on Harry’s shoulder. ‘Harry, who are you trying to kid? We need help, desperately. This life… these powers… it’s…’ You began to tear up. The tremble in your voice was enough to quell the angry sparks coursing through him. The electricity flickered and died. 

‘Please… we need this.’

He sighed, running his hand through his matted hair. Finally he nodded. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘We’ll come.’

You and the Avengers breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing tensed muscles. You stepped out of the door, dragging your brother behind you as you followed Black Widow down the hall. She was speaking into a communicator on her wrist, ‘We’re good here. They’ve agreed to come willingly.’ You reached out with your senses and felt the four on the rooftops moving away from their positions.

You and Harry followed the Avengers out of the building to an old abandoned car park almost as broken-down as the building you had been living in. As you walked, you found yourself stepping in pace with the Scarlet Witch.

‘Hey,’ she said, holding out her hand. ‘I’m Wanda. Thank you for convincing your brother to do this without a fight.’

‘Y/N,’ you replied, shaking her outstretched hand. You were silent for a bit, too shy to say much. Then, you gathered your courage. ‘Sorry about his initial hostility. We aren’t really used to trusting people quickly. Well, _ he _ isn’t.’

‘And you?’ she asked. Before you could reply, you reached the empty car park, and watched in stunned silence as Tony said, ‘FRIDAY, deactivate retro-reflective panels,’ and a jet appeared from thin air, sitting quietly on the cracking tarmac.

‘Welcome to the Quinjet,’ said Cap, nodding at you with a small smile. You grinned in disbelief as you climbed the ramp into the jet, and he chuckled at your awe.

You were going to be Avengers. You and your brother. _ Avengers _.

You had no idea how Stark had found the two of you, but Tony was Tony and he had his ways. Things were going to be alright now. The Avengers would make it alright. The pain would end, the suffering, the loneliness, the fear, the darkness – all of it would go away now.

You felt the presence of the four other Avengers and spun to face them, eyeing them as they made their way across the road towards the car park. One of them was swinging from lamp posts and walls, a red blur as it made its way towards you with an archer not far behind. From the other building a man came flying with mechanical wings, followed closely by a man clad all in black.

‘Y/N, Harry, meet the rest of our team,’ grinned Tony.

The first to reach the Quinjet was the Falcon, followed by Spiderman, who had run out of things to swing from as he made his way across the dilapidated car park. 

‘Nice to meet you,’ said the Falcon with a charming smile. ‘I’m Sam.’

‘I’m Peter. Peter Parker,’ Peter reached out to shake your hand, the head of his suit melting away to show a young face, red and blushing.

You smiled at them, and nudged your brother in the ribs, signalling for him to do the same. It was then that the last two members of the team arrived. 

‘Clint,’ panted Hawkeye, shaking your hand and then your brother’s. ‘Nice to finally make your acquaintance.’

You turned your eyes to the last member of the party. You were met by steel blue eyes staring from under a heavy brow. Dark, wavy hair framed his face and stubble covered his strong jaw. _ What am I doing? _ you thought. _ Stop staring. _

‘Bucky,’ he said, nodding at the two of you. You didn’t notice how his gaze lingered on you, reluctant to move to your brother. 

You knew exactly who he was. _ The Winter Soldier _.

It took you a moment to realise that the Quinjet was airborne. The team moved to sit in different parts of the jet, fussing with their gear and chatting to one another good-naturedly. _ Soon, I’ll be a part of this _.

‘Okay, guys,’ said Steve. ‘Time to head home.’ He led you and Harry over to sit. ‘You guys didn’t want to bring any luggage?’

‘We don’t have many belongings,’ said Harry. He was calming down now. You could feel him relax as he ruled out the last few possibilities of danger in the situation. He could loosen up now he knew that he wouldn’t have to protect you from anything, that you were safe.

He and Steve got to chatting, but soon you tuned out, resting your head on your brother’s shoulder. You were tired, and that was the real truth. Tired of being on the run, tired of never staying in one place for more than a month, tired of living in squalor and dirt, tired of having no one but your brother to talk to. Now, you would be safe. You felt your brother’s excitement and joy at finally having someone to talk to. Back in high school, before all of this had happened, he’d been popular. Good with people, great at making friends. Here he had a chance to go back to that. 

You on the other hand, had always been shy. But that didn’t mean that you disliked the company of other people, no! It just took you a bit longer to pluck up the courage to approach them, to talk to new people. You’d just been getting better, growing in confidence, when it happened. And you’d never had the chance to continue improving since. 

You looked around the room as you began to nod off on your brother’s shoulder. The sight of all these beautiful, friendly people laughing and talking made you smile, and with that you closed your eyes and fell asleep.

The last thing you saw was one quiet member of the team, sitting alone in a corner, brooding as he gazed out the window.


	2. You

‘Everyone, silence please,’ Tony called out over the chatter as the Avengers sat around the table at dinner. ‘I have an announcement to make!’ He sounded excited, but then Tony was usually a pack of beans anyway.

Everyone _ ooh _’d and pretended to hold their breath in anticipation. It was the third evening since you and your brother arrived at the compound. You’d slept the whole way there, and only awoke when Steve nudged you, whispering ‘We’re here.’ Your brother had left to go sit with Sam and Peter, and you saw them joking and laughing before realising you’d been sleeping on Steve’s shoulder. America’s shoulder had been your pillow for the night. You yelped and jumped up.

‘Sorry,’ he said, smiling slightly. ‘Didn’t mean to scare you. Your brother asked me to stay with you when I told him to meet the rest of the team properly.’

‘No, it’s fine, sorry, I just…’ you mumbled, then decided to end with a smile. That always used to work. He beamed back and you breathed a sigh of relief; you had managed to avoid making a fool of yourself in front of Captain America. You didn’t see the dark figure, still sitting in the corner, staring at the two of you with a clenched jaw.

You’d been given the grand tour of the compound by none other than Tony Stark himself. Finally, he handed you over to Natasha, who finished by showing you to your very own rooms. She took you up the glass lift to the top floor, and you stepped out into a huge rectangular room with sofas and kitchen facilities. Along the walls were ten doors; four lined the longer wall in front, and there were three on each of the shorter, adjacent walls. The wall behind you, like the lift, was made entirely of glass. You could see the grounds and the rest of the facility from there.

Natasha smiled. ‘Everyone’s rooms are on this floor, and in the centre we have the kitchen and living room. It’s like sharing a huge apartment with eight people. Well, now it’s _ ten _.’ The rooms were sleek, modern, and luxurious, and you had to keep blinking to make sure it didn’t all just melt away into shabby grey brick like you were used to.

‘Tony had two new rooms built just for you. Had to knock down the wall and push everything back, but we have Stark technology – it didn’t take much time. Guys are on the right, girls on the left,’ she said, winking at you. ‘Well, there are only three of us. _ Left _ doesn’t actually reach very far. _ Right _ takes up three quarters of the compound.’

Your brother was given the new room nearest the glass lift entrance on the right, and you the same on the left. ‘You’ll find towels, clothes and other necessities in your rooms. Dinner’s at seven, and Tony doesn’t like it when anyone but him is late.’ With a final wink, she left the two of you to clean yourselves up for the first time in weeks. You’d stared at yourself in the mirror afterwards, brown eyes wide at the sight of your long dark hair smooth and shining once more, your skin soft and clean.

Now, you were sitting with the rest of them, eating yet another scrumptious – and healthy – meal. Your new wardrobe consisted of a few plain black t-shirts, black skinny jeans and a large, soft grey hoodie. It was more than what you’d been used to, but still Nat and Wanda, whom you had already become close to, insisted that one day they would have to take you shopping.

You giggled as the others mocked Tony. Ignoring them, he cleared his throat, ‘I am hosting a party on Saturday night in honour of our two new recruits.’ He grinned at you both. Everyone cheered. Everyone except Bucky, who looked almost worried. He was the one member of the team you hadn’t really spoken to yet. The one member who hadn’t gone out of their way to befriend you.

‘It’s going to be _ big,’ _Tony clarified with an arched eyebrow, smiling at the team’s response.

‘Of course it is, it’s one of _ your _ parties,’ Sam teased, laughing and elbowing Harry, who smiled. 

‘You don’t do small, Tony,’ Nat smirked.

‘Well, you’re welcome,’ said Tony. ‘You’ll have three days to get yourself a nice suit or dress. Try not to wear the same thing every time like Barnes does. 

Everyone laughed, and Bucky gave a small smile, despite his attempts to scowl at Tony. Your heart fluttered. _ So precious _ , you thought before you could stop yourself. You shook away the thought. _ They’re _ all _ precious _ , you told yourself. _ All of them _.

‘I’m getting me one hell of a dress,’ Sam proclaimed loudly to more laughter from the others. You smiled at him. He always knew how to make the team laugh, and he loved doing it – you could tell from the smug smirk on his face.

With that, dinner was over. Steve was the first to start clearing up, and everyone followed suit. ‘Who’s day is it to clear up?’ Clint asked. Peter went to the list on the refrigerator, reading with a groan, ‘Mine… and Y/N’s.’ He seemed to perk up when he read your name, and looked at you with a happy grin.

‘Great,’ you said, smiling. Nat and Wanda squeezed your shoulders, telling you to come meet them in Wanda’s room when you were done. ‘Girl’s night,’ Wanda whispered excitedly.

The guys wandered off to the far end of the room, flopping down on the sofas and flipping the TV on, chatting and laughing. You and Peter were left in the kitchen to sort the dishes. There was an awkward silence where the two of you just stood, smiling. You didn’t notice the rest of the guys watching from the sofas.

‘I’ll do the pots and pans. You can load the dishwasher,’ Peter finally said, moving off to the sink. 

You nodded and set to work. ‘Sounds good.’

‘So…’ he said as he started scrubbing. ‘How’ve you liked it here so far?’

‘It’s amazing,’ you gushed. ‘Of course, Harry and I haven’t started training yet, but it’s been great to finally be able to just… relax. To not be afraid the government would finally catch and hold us for our powers, or worse, HYDRA…’ You trailed off.

‘That must’ve been tough,’ he said, looking down at where you were kneeling on the ground, loading the dishwasher.

‘Everyone’s super nice here,’ you hurried on. ‘You have no idea how many times I wished we could be a part of this. But my brother had always been wary. Thought you might turn us over if we came to you for help. So we just kept on running and hiding, until finally you found us.’

‘You’re settling in great,’ he said. ‘It’s nice to finally have someone more my age around here.’

‘I’m 27,’ you said, laughing. ‘Aren’t you, like, 22?’

He blew a bubble down towards you from the suds in his hands. ‘Yeah, how’d you know? Anyway, we’re _ basically _ the same age.’ He smiled as the bubble popped on your nose, making you cross-eyed as you tried to watch it.

You giggled. ‘I guess.’

‘Everyone else is in their _ thirties _,’ he whispered dramatically, grinning as you laughed.

‘No wonder they’re all so much more experienced and professional than you,’ you teased. He flung soapy water at you in protest, watching as bubbles settled in your hair while you yelped.

‘Hey! You’re really not helping your case here,’ you said, squealing as you reached for the sink to splash him back. Neither of you noticed the guys peeking over at you from the sofas, drawn by the sound of your squeals and Peter’s laughter.

When the two of you finished, the kitchen was covered in soap suds and water. ‘At least the dishes are clean,’ said Peter. ‘And the floor got a bit of a wash, too.’

Your wet shirt clung to you as you smiled and set off for Wanda’s room. ‘Goodnight,’ you called back to him. ‘Thanks for this.’ You pulled at your wet shirt and made a face, closing Wanda’s door behind you.

Peter was left there grinning at the door.

‘Hey, kid!’ Sam yelled across the room. ‘Get over here.’

The guys hooted and clapped as Peter trudged over, his cheeks red.

‘You’re welcome, kid,’ Tony told him as he slapped Peter on the back.

‘For what?’

‘Who do you think changed the cleaning schedule so you could get some time with her?’ Tony teased.

‘You arranged this on purpose?’ Peter groaned.

‘Come on, kid, we all saw the way you blushed and got all breathless when you met her back in London,’ said Clint, taking a swig from his beer.

Peter rubbed his face as he plopped down beside Bucky, who shuffled away, grumbling. ‘You’re wet,’ was all he said as the others grinned at Peter.

Harry’s door opened and he stepped out. ‘Harry!’ Steve called. ‘Come, sit with us. We’ve got beers.’ He grinned, waving his beer at Harry.

Harry smiled and shrugged, coming over to sit next to Clint, who handed him a bottle. ‘What you guys talking about?’

Peter blushed. Sam spoke for him, wiggling his eyebrows, ‘Peter and your sister.’

‘What?’ Harry yelped. His fingers sparked dangerously. 

‘Woah, woah,’ said Tony. ‘Calm it, Sparky. Nothing happened, they just did the dishes is all.’

‘Yeah, and Peter’s got a huge crush on her _ is all _,’ Sam added. Peter glared at him.

‘Don’t we all?’ said Steve, to laughter and nods of agreement from everyone but Bucky. He’d noticed how quiet his friend had been this evening, but he planned on confronting him later, _ after _ all the fun was over.

‘You’re serious?’ said Harry, the sparks flickering away. ‘All of you?’

‘Man, your sister is fine,’ said Sam.

‘No, she’s not,’ Harry protested, making a face. He was settling into the light-hearted banter. ‘She’s my gross little sister.’

The guys arched eyebrows and laughed. ‘Don’t worry, Sparky,’ said Tony. ‘It was the same when Wanda first got here. And before Wanda, we were all over Nat. Of course, Barton had to go and snatch her up.’ He sighed dramatically. 

Clint smirked. ‘Well, Nat has always had good taste.’

‘It helps that you’ve known her longest and got close to her as friends first,’ Sam snapped.

‘Anyway, it’ll just be for the first month or so,’ Tony assured Harry. ‘We’ll get over it. We just like a bit of fun. And she really is fine.’

‘She’s beautiful,’ said Steve. Bucky tensed next to him.

‘_ Hot _,’ Sam corrected.

‘She’s cute,’ Peter mumbled. ‘Really pretty.’

Bucky got up abruptly. ‘I… I’m going to bed. Night, guys.’ He finished his beer and set it down on the table and slunk into his room.

‘What’s up with him?’ asked Peter.

‘Probably left because this conversation is _ sickening _,’ Harry said. ‘Can we please talk about something else?’

Steve was silent, watching his friend’s door. ‘He’s been acting strange all evening.’

‘He didn’t want me sitting next to him,’ Peter grumbled.

‘Hey, kid, you’re dripping all over the couch,’ said Tony. ‘It’s past your bedtime, anyway.’

With that, the guys yelled at Peter to go to bed and continued their conversation.


	3. You

‘Your brother is cute,’ Wanda gushed as you and Nat picked at a bag of sweets. The three of you were sprawled on Wanda’s bed, listening to the muffled sounds of the guys’ laughter outside.

You nearly spat out your sweet. The girls laughed. ‘Don’t worry, you’ve got plenty of attention, too,’ said Nat.

‘The guys like you,’ Wanda winked.

‘Wha–what? No, what are you talking about?’ you blushed.

‘Come on, I thought your thing was sensing?’ said Nat. ‘If that’s the case maybe we made a mistake bringing you here.’

‘We know it when we see it,’ said Wanda. ‘They’re always stealing glances at you and whispering to each other. In fact, they’re probably out there talking about you right now. Even Steve likes you – probably the most out of everybody. We saw his face while you slept on his shoulder on the Quinjet. He pretty much never took his eyes off you.’

‘That’s ridiculous,’ you said. ‘I’m nobody.’

‘Well, _ nobody _, take a look at your shirt. It’s still damp. And how did that happen again?’

You were silent, and you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks. _ Peter _. You thought of the smile he’d had plastered all over his face when he splashed you.

‘Flirting,’ said Nat.

You decided to change the topic. ‘So, you’re with Barton? Tell me all about it.’

That was enough to carry the conversation on to different matters. That night, the three of you fell asleep on Wanda’s bed, tired from all the laughing and talking. You were the first to go, the smell of soap in your damp hair lulling you to sleep.

––

Next morning you crept out of Wanda’s room into the empty kitchen, trying not to wake your friends. You went to your room to get showered and changed, before re-emerging to get some juice from the fridge. Except this time, the kitchen wasn’t empty.

Somehow, you hadn’t sensed him there. You hadn’t been paying attention, you realised. Your guard had dropped. You felt too safe here. 

‘Hey,’ Bucky said, sitting at the breakfast bar with his orange juice in a black t-shirt and grey jogging shorts. His voice was low and quiet as he flexed his metal arm around his glass. You watched the plates move along his arm as the long fingers clinked against the glass.

‘Hi,’ you said. There was silence for a while. You didn’t know whether to try and make conversation or not. You didn’t really want to, for fear of saying something stupid. But you gathered your courage. ‘Harry and I start training today,’ you said brightly.

‘Good,’ he nodded, staring at his juice. ‘Sorry, I’m not usually this quiet.’

You smiled at his bluntness. ‘Well, I am.’

‘Oh?’ he said, a slow smile spreading across his face.

‘I’m not great with people. Never have been. That’s more my brother’s thing,’ you said, pouring yourself some orange juice and standing across from him over the breakfast bar.

‘You seem to be doing great around here,’ he said, and you sensed a slight edge to his voice.

‘I’m really trying,’ you explained, taking a swallow of juice. ‘But it’s exhausting.’

He chuckled at that. _ I just made the Winter Soldier laugh _.

‘Yeah, I feel that.’

Harry’s door opened and he started as he saw the two of you. ‘Hey, smelly,’ he greeted you. ‘Hi, Buck.’

You rolled your eyes at his pet name for you. Bucky cocked his eyebrows and grinned. ‘Smelly?’ he asked, in a tone that was almost teasing. You stared at his eyes, the stormy blue glinting with something like mischief. Beautiful eyes. So blue. It took a moment before you were able to pull your gaze away from them.

You shrugged, ‘Strange people say strange things.’

‘Hey!’ Harry protested, coming over to ruffle your hair. ‘You love my terms of endearment.’

The rest of the compound began to wake up then. Steve and Sam both came out of their rooms at exactly 7:05. They smiled at you and you noticed both Bucky and Harry looked away. 

‘Buck, you ready?’ said Steve, still smiling at you, bright blue eyes sparkling happily. You thought about Bucky’s eyes. _ Bucky’s are a deeper blue _.

‘I’m always ready before you,’ Bucky gruffed. You were startled at how quickly his mood had changed. His eyes had darkened to grey, and his body was tense as he stared at his empty glass of juice.

‘Come on, Winter Smoulder,’ Sam teased. 

You giggled at that, and Sam smiled at you, happy he’d been able to make you laugh. Bucky clenched his jaw and got up. ‘I’m winning today,’ he said to Steve, who chuckled and clapped his best friend on the shoulder. ‘We’ll see about that,’ said Steve.

‘I don’t know why I run with these two every morning,’ said Sam. ‘It’s really bad for my self-esteem.’

Bucky turned back towards you as he followed his friends. ‘See you later,’ he said.

Tony stepped out of his room with a yawn as they got into the glass lift. ‘Morning, you two. Looking forward to training with the big boys and girls?’

‘Yes,’ you nodded happily.

‘Good.’ He wandered off with a newspaper, talking to FRIDAY.

You ate with your brother in the kitchen. Forty minutes later, you felt Steve, Sam and Bucky entering the compound. Bucky looked smug as he stepped out of the glass lift. His hair was pulled back in a sweaty man-bun.

‘Training’s in the hangar,’ Bucky informed you and Harry, grinning. He pointed out of the glass wall in front of you.

‘I’ll be leading your training,’ said Steve. ‘I take all the new recruits. Nat usually helps me out.’

Your eyes flicked back to Bucky, whose smug face had dropped back into a scowl.

––

Training finished at four in the afternoon. Eight hours of training had taken its toll on you. The morning was spent with Steve and Nat, who led you in physical exercises and self-defense training. You were taught to punch, and spent much of the morning competing with your brother to see who could punch the bag the hardest. He won. 

In the afternoon, Dr Bruce Banner and Dr Stephen Strange came in to help you both with your individual powers. Bruce took your brother, his being the more scientific, electrical-current, radiation-related power more suited to Dr Banner’s expertise. Dr Strange took you, and helped you work on your more mystic skills. Both had the aim of helping you learn to control your powers better, learning to see how far you could take them. Both you and Harry felt you had made no progress at all by the end of the day, but they assured you that it was normal, and it would take a lot more time and effort before you saw improvement.

After you’d showered and changed, Nat and Wanda came knocking at your door. ‘Shopping!’ they cried and dragged you out. Nat drove to the nearest mall, and when you asked she explained that Banner lived in a room on the second floor nearer to the lab, while Strange lived off-campus. 

‘Tony also doesn’t really live in his room on our floor,’ she said. ‘He has a huge house on the other side of the grounds. That’s where the party’s going to be.’

‘We’re going to get you the perfect dress,’ Wanda smiled.


	4. Bucky

Bucky rubbed his eyes and groaned when he realised what day it was. _ Saturday _ . Party day. He’d gone out and bought a new suit, as Tony had instructed. He didn’t know why he did it this time. Tony had always given him a hard time about it, but he’d never bothered to do it then. But this time… _ Y/N will be there. _ He shook the thought away. _ Doesn’t matter. She’s just a new recruit. _

When he first met you, the first thing that registered was your smile. He liked your smile. It was warm, like the light brown of your eyes, which were the second thing he noticed. The third thing was your freckles. He’d never seen anything so cute and precious. The fourth thing that registered was how his heart was beating much faster than usual.

And it had only escalated from there. From time to time he’d glance at you on the Quinjet, first as you watched everyone, studying them, then as you lay sleeping on your brother’s shoulder. He liked that you watched people, listened to what they said, more than you talked to them. It was a good way to understand what other people were like.

Then Steve had pushed your brother towards Sam and Peter and Clint, and Harry had got up and moved your head gently to Steve’s shoulder. Bucky bristled. He saw the look on Steve’s face as you made yourself comfortable in your sleep, settling onto his shoulder. Bucky could almost see Steve’s heart swelling as he looked down at you. Bucky let out a silent growl and turned to look out of the window again.

The first time he’d seen you cleaned up and in new clothes – specifically skinny jeans – he’d had to take a moment to breathe it all in. So simple, but so beautiful. The oversized grey hoodie seemed to engulf you, making you look sweeter and cuter than he’d thought possible. The warmth inside you seemed to radiate outwards, and for a moment it felt like he was the one who had your powers and he could feel your aura. It was golden-red and glowing. So warm.

He’d avoided you the first few days, too afraid to do or say something stupid in front of you. Neither of you were the type to start conversations, as he’d discovered on the Quinjet, so getting to know you would be more difficult than he’d thought. 

Then there was the night where all he could hear from where he sat on the sofas with the guys was your laughter entangled with Peter’s, and he wished he could rip those tangles of laughter apart. Every time Peter teased you, made you laugh, blew those stupid bubbles at you, Bucky fell deeper and deeper into his bad mood, his fists clenching along with his jaw. His muscles tightened when he heard the flirtatious words being exchanged, and soon his teeth were sore from being ground together. Damn Peter and his young confidence, his ability to pull himself together and actually speak – _ flirt _ – with you. It wasn’t fair.

And that conversation afterwards. God, he’d felt like his own muscles would tear him apart, it had taken so much effort to restrain from pummelling every one of those guys – especially Peter… and Steve. _ All of them liked you _. And every one of them seemed to have a better chance with you. 

Then that next morning – the first time Bucky had really spoken to you. The conversation certainly hadn’t been anything special, but for a moment he’d felt something from you. You’d held his gaze a beat longer than someone normally would. He felt your smile, that smile that seemed to pour warmth over him. Then Steve had come in and ruined it.

With a heavy breath, Bucky got to his feet and got ready for his run with Steve and Sam.

––

Training was over. It had been an easy day, with no missions or meetings. Bucky had spent it in the gym with Sam, staying as far from Peter as he could. Clint was there, and Wanda came in for a bit to run and lift weights, before sitting next to Peter and Clint and teasing them as they lifted by using her telekinesis to hold the weights down.

‘Hey, man, what’s going on with you?’ said Sam as they lifted together. ‘You’ve been even quieter than usual ever since… since Y/N and Harry got here.’ Bucky tensed at your name, praying Sam wouldn’t figure it out.

‘Nothing, I’m just quiet,’ he replied.

Sam sighed. ‘I thought you were getting better. Steve told me you were becoming more and more like your old self – pre-everything.’ He paused, and a cheeky smile crept over his lips. ‘Apparently, the old Bucky was quite the ladykiller. I want to see some of that.’

_ So do I. _

‘I was – am – doing better,’ Bucky insisted stubbornly. He forced himself to lighten up. _ Forget about her. I _ was _ doing better before she came. I need to keep it up. _ He grinned at his friend. ‘You’re right. I need to loosen up – maybe I’m relapsing,’ he joked, resisting a shudder at the thought. He put down his weights. ‘Wanna grab a drink before the party?’

‘That’s the Winter Smoulder I like to see,’ Sam grinned and clapped Bucky’s back. ‘Totally and completely _ wasted _.’

‘You know I can’t get drunk, dumbass.’

––

A shower and a beer later, Bucky was feeling better than ever, sitting at the breakfast bar with Sam. He did love spending time with Sam – he never failed to make him laugh. It was six in the evening, and everyone was scattered around the common room. He’d been ignoring you as you sat with the girls and your brother. Peter and Steve were hanging around the edges of the conversation, he knew, and Nat was sitting in Clint’s lap. But Bucky didn’t let himself look your way – until you raised your voice and he turned before he could stop himself.

‘Tony’s here,’ you informed everyone casually.

‘So much cooler than a doorbell,’ said Peter, and Bucky saw him looking at you in amazement. Instantly he tensed again, and all that work trying to get past this _ thing _ went out the window. _ Sorry, Sam _, he thought bitterly.

Minutes later, Tony stepped out of the lift. ‘What the hell are you guys doing? Get your asses all dolled up and ready for my party. It starts at eight. Don’t be late.’

‘Tony, we don’t need _ two hours _ to get ready,’ said Steve. Meanwhile, the girls were getting up excitedly. Nat pushed herself off of Clint and Wanda giggled at something Harry said, before pulling you behind her. You gave a small wave at Steve and Peter, then looked quickly at Bucky in a way that betrayed it wasn’t the first time you’d glanced up to check on him. He saw the surprise in your eyes when you realised that this time, he was looking back at you.

‘Speak for yourself, Steve,’ said Sam. ‘I’ll take all the time I can get.’

The girls dragged you into Nat’s room, and you were gone again.

Bucky sighed, and turned back to his beer. ‘Whisky time.’

Sam smirked and pulled Bucky up. ‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘We need to get ready first. _ Then _ it’s whisky time.’

Bucky went to his room and shut the door, staring at himself in the mirror. He blinked at his reflection. He watched as he curled his left arm. Fury and hurt flashed through him. The metal arm flashed out and shattered the mirror.

‘Shit.’

He was panting, trying to get the anger out of his system. Finally he found a broom and swept up the shards, dumping them in the bin. He turned to the newly-tailored suit laid out on his bed. It was silver. _ Silver. _ He’d spotted it in the shop and a moment of madness took him. He asked Sam for his opinion, and Sam had _ made _him buy it. Why had he listened to Sam? He was going to look so fucking stupid. He’d trusted Sam to pick a good suit for him, which was obviously a terrible mistake. With a snort, he turned to his wardrobe, searching for the trustworthy black suit he’d worn every time Stark had a party. But it was gone.

_ Sam. _ Damn him. He knew Bucky too well.

He hopped into the shower and stood in the hot water for a long while. Then, reluctantly, Bucky turned to the new silver suit and got dressed. He stood in front of the smaller, non-shattered bathroom mirror, combing his hair and worrying over his reflection for ages. He had to admit, Sam had good taste – or rather, _ he _ did. After all, Bucky was the one who had discovered it. Maybe he did have a chance with this whole _ fashion _ thing. Maybe he even had a chance with this whole _ dating _ thing. His confidence was growing as he found some cologne and combed his hair for the third time. He could do this. Tying his tie, he checked the time on his phone. _ 7:40 pm _. With all that worrying and combing, he’d almost managed to take up those two hours. 

_ Shit. I’m turning into Sam. _ His reflection grinned back at him, and he smoothed his long, dark hair one last time. 

He left the compound with Sam at 7:50, after waiting ten minutes for Sam to finish up. ‘Damn, Buck,’ Sam had said. ‘Who knew you cleaned up so nice? I’m kidding, I always knew you were a stunner. The suit _ really _ brings out the grey-blue of your eyes. _ Love _ the hair, too.’ Bucky grinned – he knew Sam was teasing. They walked through the autumn night and across the dark grass to Tony’s house on the edge of the grounds. The wind was picking up and it felt good on Bucky’s face, cold and fresh.

Tony welcomed them inside, smiling and handing them each a glass of champagne. Steve, Clint, Peter, Harry, Bruce and Strange were already there, chatting with Pepper, Rhodey and some of Tony’s government friends. A car pulled up outside, and Nick Fury entered with Maria Hill. She looked great in a navy-coloured dress, but Bucky was searching the room for someone else. 

The minutes went by, and more people arrived. Most of them were government people, including Everett Ross, but others included scientists, friends and even a few members of the media to help publicise the introduction of the Avengers’ two new recruits.

Ten minutes later and the room was really filling up. Bucky stuck to Sam wherever he went, talking to people where he had to and watching the door the whole time. A few women approached him and tried to strike up a conversation. They batted their eyelashes at him and giggled at things that weren’t funny. He was surprised – this suit really was working wonders. But each of them gave up when they saw he was distracted. He was forced into a conversation with Everett Ross when, finally, the door opened and Natasha and Wanda came waltzing in with you between the two of them.

‘Shit,’ Sam breathed at Bucky’s side.

Bucky felt his jaw go slack as he stared at you. You were wearing a slim-fitting green satin slit-dress. The fit was perfect on you, clean and elegant, flattering your hourglass figure. The dress was backless with a v-neck, and it hung from thin straps on your bare shoulders. The satin was a deep green on your warm skin, and your bright brown eyes shone like amber. Your dark hair was lightly curled, pulled back at the top with a silver leaf-shaped clip. Your makeup was simple – eyeliner and a smokey brown eyeshadow with a dark red lip, but you made no attempts to cover your freckles with foundation or concealer. You loved your freckles, thought they were your only good feature; Bucky loved them too.

When you moved, the slit down the side of your dress moved with you and the satin fluttered. Bucky heard the room go quiet as half the people stopped talking to stare at you, Nat and Wanda. Nat was wearing something black and Wanda something red – that was all Bucky was able to register as he stared at you. He was dimly aware of Clint striding over to tell his girlfriend how beautiful she looked and drag her away from other prying eyes. 

In that moment, Bucky wished he could do the same with you. He never took his eyes off you for a second, but he knew there were many others watching you. You were uncomfortable from the moment you walked in, he could see it. Unlike the other two girls, your movement was shy as you walked and your eyes kept drifting to the ground. You didn’t need to apply blush with the soft red glow appearing naturally on your cheeks. You wanted to be looked at, but at the same time, you didn’t. He knew you couldn’t help but be shy, and he loved that, but in this instance he cursed it. He knew that every man in the room would be helplessly drawn to that soft smile and heart-melting shyness like moths to a flame – including himself.

As Tony went over to welcome the girls, you moved your gaze up to look directly into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky’s breathing stopped with that simple flick of the eyes. His chest was burning under the heat of those brown, brown eyes. And then you smiled and shifted your gaze, lacking the courage to smile directly at him.

‘Shit,’ he let out, once he could finally breathe again. Of course you’d known exactly where he was when you stepped in – you could sense his aura. You meeting his eyes was no accident.

‘You okay, man?’ Sam asked. ‘You froze for a minute there.’

‘Uh-huh,’ Bucky replied unconvincingly, running a hand through his hair. ‘Whisky. _ Now _.’

A slow smirk crept onto Sam’s face. ‘Ah,’ he said knowingly. ‘I see it now. New suit, all the moodiness. It was her all along. Damn, I’m stupid. I thought _ I _ liked her – turns out you’ve been pining for her all along.’

Bucky whirled defensively and clenched his fists, but then he looked down. ‘She looked right at me. I couldn’t breathe.’

‘But you’ve barely even talked to her,’ Sam said. ‘You’ve been avoiding her, haven’t you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Come on, man! It’s not hard, just go up to her and say something.’

‘I’ll say something stupid.’

‘Better than nothing at all.’

Bucky took a deep breath and turned back towards you, only to see Peter sidling up to you. You were clutching Wanda’s hand, terrified of letting go. Bucky was near enough to hear Peter tell you you looked beautiful and see you give him one of your signature shy smiles in return. A silent growl in his chest and a clenched jaw was enough to let Sam know what he was feeling.

‘I’m surprised you haven’t torn us all apart yet,’ he said. _ ‘Everyone’s _ been flirting with her, especially Steve and Peter.’

‘And you,’ Bucky growled.

‘Hey, I had no idea how you felt. And she isn’t _ yours _, Buck, we’ve all got a shot.’

‘Except that I don’t!’ Bucky hissed. ‘I have no idea how to talk to a girl anymore. Damn it, I used to be so good at this.’

‘Then get good again,’ said Sam. He sighed. ‘Come on, let’s get that drink you’ve been wanting so badly.’

Bucky kept his eyes on you and Peter as he made for the bar with Sam. You were laughing at something Peter said as Tony pushed a champagne glass into your hand and pecked you on the cheek. A lion roared inside of Bucky, but he kept it in. _ Tony’s just being polite, he’s already got Pepper and he loves her more than anything. _

Wanda was talking to your brother beside you, and Bucky could see they were hitting it off. _ Even the new guy’s got more game than me _. 

Soon Peter wasn’t the only one near you. You were being pushed further into the crowd of people, and more and more of them were introducing themselves to you. Almost all of them were guys, Pepper and Maria Hill being the only exceptions. The men were practically falling over themselves to get to you, anxious to get there before anyone else. Then Bucky saw Steve moving in for his shot. He’d waited it out a bit, given you time to settle in. Now he was moving through the crowd towards you. A fire seemed to burn inside of Bucky as he watched, and without thinking, he pushed off from the bar and strode towards you, cutting Steve off and making Sam smirk. 

And then he was in front of you. Being the Winter Soldier has its perks when it comes to parting crowds, and he had no trouble getting to you before Steve. Your eyes lit up when you saw him, and for a minute all of Bucky’s nerves melted away.

‘Hey,’ he said, smiling at you.

‘Hey,’ you replied, looking up at him. Was he imagining it, or did you seem breathless?

‘You look… unbelievable,’ Bucky said. _ Beautiful isn’t enough. _

You took a sharp breath, unable to stop staring at his eyes. You always watched people’s eyes, but not like this. This was something else.

‘No, you,’ you said feebly. His face spread into a shocked smile, and he laughed. His eyes wrinkled at the sides as he smiled down at you, and for a while the two of you stood there grinning at each other.

‘You wanna grab a drink?’ Bucky asked you, taking your empty champagne glass from your hand. 

‘Sure.’ You started towards the bar and he rested his flesh hand on the small of your bare back, guiding you through the crowd. He thought he felt you shiver slightly as he touched your warm skin. 

‘I… I love your suit,’ you said. ‘Who knew silver could look so good?’

He chuckled and shrugged, and his arm moved against your back. ‘It’s new,’ he said. ‘I went out and bought it for tonight.’

‘Really?’ you cocked an eyebrow and he saw a gleam in your eyes. ‘I thought you only ever wore the same thing to these parties.’ 

‘Are you teasing me?’ Bucky asked with a mock frown, his smile betraying him. He guided you to a bar stool and sat down next to you. ‘A whisky, please,’ he said to the bartender. ‘What do you want?’ He turned to you. 

‘Wow, going in with the strong stuff, huh?’ 

‘It doesn’t make a difference with me – I’m insusceptible.’ He gave a casual shrug.

‘Big word,’ you grinned, turning to the waiter. ‘I’ll have one, too, please.’ Then you turned to Bucky, saying ‘I’ve never had a whisky before. I bet I’ll hate it.’ 

He laughed again. He was surprised at how relaxed he was becoming around you. Sam was right, this was easier than it seemed. 

‘So you’re from London?’ he asked as you waited for your drinks. 

‘It’s a bit complicated,’ you explained. ‘But, yeah.’

Bucky watched you with concern. He didn’t want to upset you.

You shook your head and looked up at him, forcing yourself to smile. ‘And you?’

‘Brooklyn,’ he said shortly.

‘Nice and simple,’ you remarked. The drinks were set down in front of you, and Bucky took a grateful sip of his whisky. You sniffed it tentatively, saying ‘My dad used to love whisky. He drank it every night. He’d fall asleep on the sofa with the TV on because it knocked him out. I hated it for what it did to him.’ Your voice was quiet, and you weren’t sure why you were telling Bucky this. ‘I remember this smell all too well.’

Bucky was watching you. You seemed almost scared as you stared at the golden liquid. ‘Your eyes look like whisky,’ he mused before he could stop himself. 

You stared at him, and he could see you were delighted at that. ‘I’ve never heard that one before. I always thought my eyes were brown and boring.’

He snorted in disbelief. ‘Come on. No way, you can’t really think that. Your eyes are beautiful. They match your freckles.’ He didn’t dare tell you that he thought the warmth in your eyes was enough to melt ice, that every time you looked into his eyes he thought _ he _ would melt.

‘You should see yours,’ you mumbled, reaching up to touch your freckles nervously before taking a small sip of the whisky. A small cough escaped you and you winced. ‘God, that burns. Oh god, that’s nasty. How can you _ drink _ that? How could _ he _ drink that?’ Bucky was laughing, those steely eyes now soft and crinkling with amusement. You slid the glass towards him and called the bartender over. ‘I’ve changed my mind, could I just have a glass of champagne, please?’ 

‘Classy,’ Bucky nodded, still laughing. 

You shrugged. ‘It’s the only alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tasted.’

His eyes widened and his smile dropped. ‘What? You’re kidding. You’ve never had beer? Or vodka? Or wine? Or – okay, I know what we’re doing tonight. You’re going to try a bit of every drink in this house.’

You giggled. ‘Are you trying to give me alcohol poisoning?’ 

‘No, no, of course not,’ Bucky replied quickly, suddenly concerned. ‘I just forgot… you can get that.’

You smiled. ‘Well, it can’t hurt if I just have a tiny sip and let you finish it for me. I bet Tony’ll love that.’

Bucky called the bartender over once more and ordered a beer, a shot of vodka, a glass of red wine, a glass of white wine, gin, tequila, rum, brandy, cider and even _ baijiu _. 

‘No way, Tony has _ baijiu _? I know that smell, too,’ you giggled excitedly as drink after drink appeared in a long row in front of you. 

‘So how come you’ve never had alcohol?’ Bucky asked as you studied each drink.

‘Was never legal while I had the chance to, and though my dad drank every kind of alcohol imaginable, he never let me have a sip,’ you replied. ‘Strange. Guess he didn’t want me turning out like him.’

‘Well, you should get started if you want to finish tonight,’ he nudged the beer towards you first. 

As you tried and sampled each drink, Bucky would watch for your reaction, laughing when you found something you didn’t like, watching your features light up when you found something you did like. All through it, the two of you talked. It was like a dam had broken and suddenly neither of you could stop talking, eager to tell your stories and listen to the other’s. 

You were on the last drink – the shot of vodka – when Bucky finally started to talk about HYDRA and his Winter Soldier days. He was finishing your brandy as he spoke, his voice low and rasping. You listened in horror and pain as he gave you a brief outline of what he’d been through. There were times when he couldn’t bear to look at you, too afraid you might judge him and walk away. But when he finally got up the nerve to meet your eyes again, he saw tears swimming in your whisky eyes.

_ How long have I been talking for? _ He quickly reached out to you, his brow furrowed and his eyes concerned. He didn’t know what to do. _ I made her cry _. ‘I’m sorry, please, don’t cry, I shouldn’t have talked so much, I just got caught up, I’m sorry,’ he said, his metal hand moving to your bare back to offer you comfort. You quivered under the cold touch.

‘No, _ I’m _sorry,’ you said, wiping the tears away. ‘I can’t believe the things you’ve been through. No one should have to bear all of that. Here I was thinking I’d had it bad. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve had. I really admire you.’ You turned and clung to his arms, feeling the contrast in your hands, one gripping warm skin and the other cold metal. He sank into your touch.


	5. You

That was when Steve hopped onto the stool on your right. ‘Mind if I join you?’ he asked. Bucky tensed immediately.

When Steve saw your eyes and your wet cheeks, he turned on Bucky. ‘Are you crying? Buck, what did you do to her? What did you say? If you’ve hurt her –’

‘Who made my sister cry?’ Harry’s voice pierced through the room. He was at your side in an instant, balls of electricity sparking in his hands. 

‘No, please, you don’t understand,’ you tried to say, but Steve and Harry were speaking over you. Bucky’s eyes turned dark as he stood against them, staring as they accused him.

‘I would never hurt her,’ he said, his voice too low for them to hear. The words sent shivers down your spine.

You felt their auras heat up. It all happened so fast. Bucky gasped as Harry lunged for his collar, the electricity shocking him as it made contact with his chest. But before Harry had the chance to make another move, Bucky recovered and sent him flying across the room with one heavy punch to the ribs. As he fell, Wanda caught him with her powers, the red energy setting him gently down onto the floor.

_ ‘Harry _ !’ you ran to him, falling at his side to help him. You felt his aura burning and you knew he was about to attack again, but you placed yourself in front of him. ‘Stop, please stop. You’re drunk. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t hurt me. He was kind to me. _ I liked him _, Harry, and now he’s going to hate me.’

Behind you, you could hear Steve yelling at Bucky to calm down, and Bucky yelling ‘I would never hurt her!’ The heat was growing all around you, making your head swim. A vision played in your mind of the two of them grappling with each other, throwing their weight against each other, a lion and a wolf biting and snarling. You ran back and wedged yourself between them, placing your hands on Steve’s chest. ‘Steve, please! He didn’t do anything. Back off!’ The heat was overwhelming, closing in around you, and you couldn’t take it. You crumpled to your knees with a cry of pain, clutching your head in your hands, trying to make the burning go away. But it was in your chest now, spreading. You don’t feel with your head. You feel with you, so when you feel, you feel it everywhere. 

Bucky and Steve dropped down to help you and you fell back into Bucky’s chest. His arms held you against him and you felt his heat dissipate, until his aura was normal once more. All you felt from him now was worry. Steve crouched in front of you, his eyes anxious. People were crowding around you, asking if you were okay. Peter appeared at your side, grabbing your hand with a look of concern on his face. 

Now that the heat was gone, you just needed space to breathe. ‘I’m fine,’ you said weakly, still lying limp in Bucky’s arms. The cold metal against your skin felt good.

‘What happened?’ Steve asked.

‘Too much heat,’ you replied. ‘From your auras. It hurts.’

Nat and Wanda were there now, pushing the guys away from you. Wanda helped you to your feet as Nat yelled at them. ‘What the hell did you guys do to her? Give her some space, let her breathe. You’re all stifling her with your testosterone and need to assert your dominance over each other.’

Reluctantly, the guys moved aside. Letting you lean against the bar. The bartender brought you an ice water and you gave him a weak smile, drinking thirstily.

‘Y/N, you okay?’ asked Tony. You nodded, and he understood. You didn’t want any more attention. ‘Okay folks, she’s fine, we’re all fine. Back to your drinks and your conversations now, please.’

The low hum of conversation started up again, but people were confused and uncomfortable. ‘I’m afraid your party might be ruined, Tony. Sorry,’ you said, feeling the icy water moving down your throat. You held the glass against your forehead and Nat stroked your back. 

‘Don’t you worry about that,’ he said, smiling. ‘I can always bring a party back from the brink of ruin. This isn’t the first time a little scuffle has broken out during one of my parties.’

Pepper appeared beside him, holding out a cold towel. ‘Here,’ she smiled kindly. You accepted it gratefully and pressed it gently to your face, careful not to get your makeup on the white cotton.

A few minutes later and you felt normal again. The party was buzzing once more, and you watched Tony snaking through the throng of people, apologising and explaining what had happened. 

‘Y/N? How are you doing?’ Harry came to you, his suit a little messy from his fall, but he was unhurt. 

‘Better now, but _ Harry _,’ you groaned. ‘Why did you… it was going great until you messed it up.’

‘I was just looking out for you, like I always do,’ he protested.

‘I know,’ you said. ‘But I can handle myself. And you need to learn to _ listen _ to me. I was trying to tell you nothing happened.’

He nodded and squeezed your shoulder. ‘Sorry,’ he said, and left to rejoin the party. Wanda was fussing over him, asking if he was okay, smoothing down his suit.

‘Hey,’ Bucky’s voice was trembling slightly. ‘Are you okay?’

You looked at him. He was running his flesh hand nervously through his perfect hair, his brow wrinkling with worry. He was so beautiful. When you walked in that night, you felt for his aura. You felt him staring at you, his eyes never leaving you as he drank you in. Finally you dared yourself to look at him, catch him in the act, let him know you could feel him there. But when your eyes met his the sight of him took your breath away. His dark hair was pulled back and he was wearing a stunning silver-blue suit that brought out his eyes and clung to his muscular form in a very pleasing fit. You were frozen by his stare. You forgot how to breathe. He looked like an angel. 

You’d been displeased to find you weren’t the only one in the room who was captivated by him. It wasn’t long before you saw multiple women casting longing glances his way, whispering about him, staring and pining. Something gripped at you from the inside, and you felt your muscles tense.

It seems you weren’t the only one who was oblivious to the stares of admirers. You and Bucky had that in common.

Now, he was watching you with concern. ‘I’m fine now,’ you replied. ‘Guess that’s something to work on in training.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ he said, rubbing his face. ‘I didn’t mean to cause any drama, and I didn’t mean to hit your brother but my instincts kicked in and –’

‘It’s not your fault,’ you soothed. ‘He was being overprotective.’

‘Who, Steve or your brother?’ Bucky growled under his breath.

‘Sorry?’

‘Nothing. So, you never got to say which of the drinks you preferred most. Do we have a winner?’

‘The rosé,’ you said, smiling happily. ‘That was my favourite.’

‘Well, why don’t you get yourself a glass of rosé and wait for me,’ he said, his hand brushing against your arm briefly. ‘I’ll be back soon.’

You felt giddy as you wandered over to the bar. You could feel yourself falling for him harder by the second. You’d only just sat down when Steve appeared by your side once more. ‘Hey, Y/N,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry about what happened. I thought he’d hurt you – Buck can be blunt at times ever since the whole HYDRA thing. I just assumed he’d said something insensitive or something like that, and I flared up. Sorry.’

You nodded and gave a small smile. ‘It’s okay. We were actually having a lot of fun.’ Briefly you saw his eyes darken.

‘Right. Can I get you a drink?’ he asked, waving the bartender.

‘Well, I was just waiting for Bucky to get back,’ you said, already searching the room with your senses for Bucky’s presence.

‘One drink won’t hurt,’ said Steve. ‘Come on, please? Take it as an apology for that little incident.’

You relented, and he ordered a rosé and a brandy. You were already slightly tipsy from all the drink sampling, you realised, but you’d never been very good at saying no to people.

‘You know, it’s great that Bucky’s been talking to you,’ he said casually. ‘He hasn’t been able to really talk to a girl since before the war. He used to be a real lady’s man. Always out dancing, dragging me on double dates with him.’

‘Oh?’ you laughed. ‘And how did those go?’

‘Not well,’ he chuckled. ‘For my date, at least.’

‘Well, they’re kicking themselves now, aren’t they? You’re Captain America,’ you pointed out good-naturedly.

He blushed and grabbed your hand, causing you to flinch ever so slightly. ‘You really think they are?’

You felt Bucky’s presence moving closer, and you turned to find him as Steve started talking about something else. You saw his jaw clench visibly when his eyes found you (and who you were with) and watched in confusion as he turned away before you could smile over at him. Your eyes followed him as he strode over to where Sam was chatting with four blonde girls. Sam clapped him on the shoulder and introduced him to the girls, who devoured him with their stares as they giggled and flipped back their hair. You frowned. Why hadn’t he come back like he said he would? Was he just going to abandon you? 

Steve looked up and followed your line of sight. He dropped your hand and rubbed his nose as he reached for his drink. ‘Told you he was a lady’s man. Guess he’s getting his game back.’

_ So that’s it _ , you thought, feeling your anger and hurt starting to bubble. _ I was just a practice dummy. A guinea pig. That’s why he was talking to me, to get used to being around a girl again so he could move on to the hotter girls. _

You felt humiliated. You decided to turn your attention to Steve, not wanting to look upset and betray your hurt feelings. ‘Sorry, what were you saying? It sounded interesting…’

He grinned and launched into a long story about something you weren’t paying attention to. You nodded and smiled, pretending to listen, but your thoughts were on Bucky and how stupid you had been to think for a single moment that he might possibly like you. You could almost feel the warmth of his hand on your lower back as he guided you to the bar, and instantly you felt your face heat up. You just had to ignore him and move on. Don’t let him see that he hurt you – don’t let him see how important he had been to you.

As Steve talked and your second glass of rosé was set in front of you. You sipped at it as you half-listened, and when he touched you again you didn’t flinch away. His hand was on your thigh and you felt his fingers rubbing the bare skin where the slit in your dress fell away. You decided to enjoy it, and you giggled and batted your eyelashes at him. 

All the while, Bucky was watching you. You didn’t know that when he returned from the bathroom to see Steve cosying up to you with your hand in his, he’d felt something inside him burst. Jealousy and hurt seized him and he strode off to Sam and began flirting with the blonde girls. The jealousy gave him a reckless confidence and soon he could see he was making the girls swoon. But he kept checking on you, looking to see if you were watching, and when he saw Steve’s hand on your thigh, creeping up and down your bare leg, he thought he might scream. At some point you must’ve said something funny because Steve grabbed your shoulder and leaned against you as he laughed. He wanted to punch Steve when he leaned in to you. He was way, _ way _ too close to you. He shouldn’t be touching you.

It was at that moment when the blonde girl closest to Bucky, the one who had the most to drink, he gathered, stumbled into him with a shrill laugh. Instinctively he caught her as she fell into him, just as you turned to seek out the source of the sound. You watched as she pulled herself up his body, making sure to drag her body across as much of him as possible as her hands dug into his shoulders. He looked bewildered as she reached her full height again and suddenly snatched his lips down towards hers, kissing him hard. His hands were still on her arms.

He looked up at you just as you spun away to face the bar again with a silent yelp. Your theory was proved true. He’d only been using you. You realised you’d still been clinging to a sliver of unrealistic hope that maybe you were overreacting, maybe he did like you, but now you knew for sure. It was confirmed. You felt tears threatening to appear in your eyes as red heat flashed across your cheeks. 

‘Have you always had freckles?’ Steve asked you, completely oblivious. 

‘Yeah,’ you said, swallowing the lump in your throat, every muscle in your body tensed to hold back the tears.

‘They’re nice,’ he said. He was staring down at you, and the look in his eyes suddenly made you afraid. He was going to try to kiss you. You could feel it. For a second you thought you might let him. But then the fear came over you again, and you turned your head and looked down at your empty wine glass. You hadn’t kissed someone since high school. _ That’s why I’m scared _ , you told yourself. _ That’s why I don’t want to kiss him _ . _ No other reason _.

‘Hey, Steve, I’m not feeling so well,’ you said, unable to look at him. You were scared that if you turned your face he would go for it. ‘I think I’m going to call it a night and head back.’

‘Oh, right, okay,’ he said. He let go of your thigh and forced a smile. He was disappointed, and you felt sorry for him, but you just wanted to get out before you burst into tears in front of everyone. ‘I’ll walk you back,’ he said, getting up with you.

‘No, please, I’ll be fine, you stay,’ you insisted.

‘Okay then. Goodnight. Feel better, okay?’ And before you could stop him, he leaned down to kiss your cheek. You felt his lips linger as he brushed them across your freckles, and you realised he’d snaked his arm around your waist. His arm was warm on your bare skin. 

You forced a smile as he pulled away before hurrying towards the door as fast as you could. You found yourself wondering if Bucky and the blonde were still locking lips. You pushed the thought away as you became aware of Peter, Harry, Wanda, Nat and Clint on your right.

‘Hey, Y/N, are you okay?’ Nat asked, pushing towards you.

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,’ you replied. When they all stared at you as if to say they didn’t believe you, you made something up. ‘I’ve never really had alcohol before, and I guess I’m just a bit tipsy. Headache. I’m heading back now. If you see Tony, tell him the party was… great.’

‘I’ll come with you,’ said Peter, moving towards you.

‘No, I’ll go,’ said Harry. ‘She’s my sister. I can take care of her.’

‘No, look, I’m fine,’ you insisted.

‘Peter will take care of her,’ Wanda said, tugging on your brother’s hand. ‘She’ll be fine, right Y/N?’ She winked at you, evidently thinking she was doing you a favour by giving you a chance to be alone with Peter. 

You smiled weakly, too tired and emotional to protest as Peter wrapped his arm around your waist and escorted you out of the door. You stepped out into the night, leaving the party behind. Leaving Bucky behind as he stared after you, frozen in his tracks.

He’d seen you turn away from him when the blonde girl kissed him. He’d pushed the girl off him and apologised quickly as he moved towards you at the bar. He froze as Steve leaned in, and for a moment he thought he was going to kiss you, but he let out a sigh of relief as you turned away and got up. But then Steve had kissed you on the cheek, and it was not at all like Tony’s quick peck when he greeted you at the door. It was a long, lingering, tender kiss, and Bucky looked on as Steve traced your freckles, your beautiful freckles. He was frowning so hard his face hurt as he pushed his way towards you, but you hurried away from him and Steve, straight into the arms of, _ of course _, Peter Parker. Bucky was cursing the world as he tried to get to you, but then Peter snaked his arm around your waist, held you close to his side, and walked you out of the door, and Bucky knew he’d lost his chance.


	6. You & Bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, I'm on holiday and am not writing as much. also this chapter isn't very juicy, it's sort of a fill-in and build up for more miscommunication and angst or whatever, so hopefully I'll get to do more fun stuff soon.

You opened your eyes groggily and rolled over in bed as sounds from the kitchen outside woke you. It was eight on a Sunday morning. Your eyes found the wrinkled heap of green fabric on the floor next to your bed and you groaned. 

Last night had gone from pure joy and excitement to a complete mess. You got up and had a shower, letting a few tears fall with the warm water before pulling yourself together and pulling on your favourite black skinny jeans, a black tee and a rough cotton khaki jacket. Your wardrobe now consisted not only of black, but also various shades of green, blue and red. You were branching out.

_Sunday. _The day of rest. And you had no idea what to do with it. 

All you wanted was to spend it curled up against Bucky’s chest, but you knew now that your wish could never come true. He just wasn’t interested. _He’s just another jerk. He’s not who you thought he was. _It hurt so bad to think about him, about how you could never have him, about how he was probably rolling over in bed with his arm around some other girl right now.

A knock at the door brought you out of your miserable thoughts. Wanda came in, a soft expression of concern on her face.

‘Hey,’ she said, closing the door and coming to sit by you on your bed. ‘Are you okay? I heard things didn’t go so well last night. With Peter.’

_With Peter _. You couldn’t help but let out a small snort. Peter was the least of your concerns. Where it all went wrong was with Bucky. 

‘Yeah, um, I just really wasn’t feeling in the mood to flirt or anything,’ you replied.

‘He said you pushed him away when he tried to hold you on the way back,’ Wanda clarified. ‘He said he tripped and almost got a face full of Tony’s perfectly-maintained lawn.’

You swallowed guiltily. ‘Was he upset? I didn’t mean to upset him, I really didn’t. He’s sweet and everything, but I just don’t want _that _right now. Ugh, I’m terrible, I know, after him offering to walk me back and everything, and here I am just being an ungrateful asshole.’

‘Y/N, what’s really going on? I know there’s something else you’re not telling me. Why aren’t you up for a bit of romance?’

‘I just…’ You looked miserable, and before you knew it the tears were back and flowing freely. You crumpled into Wanda’s arms and soon you were spilling more than tears. You told her everything, everything about Bucky and how you felt and how you _thought _he’d felt. She listened as you cried, holding you and stroking your hair. Halfway through the door opened and Nat entered. She seemed to understand immediately what had happened and sat on your other side, rubbing your back comfortingly.

When you finally finished, Nat was tense. ‘Boy, I’m going to kick his ass for what he’s done to you. Barnes is a real asshole.’

‘Why didn’t you tell us how you felt about him?’ Wanda asked softly, taking a more gentle approach. ‘We kept asking you for updates on your suitors. Every time you said you weren’t interested.’

‘I just… I guess deep down I knew this would happen. I knew he was too good to be true. I didn’t want to tell you guys about something that was barely happening. Didn’t want to get your hopes up like I did mine.’ You were wiping the tears from your cheeks, and suddenly you felt ashamed at the mess you had become over this guy. He was just a guy, and you’d let him break you down into a sobbing, pathetic puddle of tears. You sniffed angrily and stood up.

‘I’m sorry, I’m pathetic. Let’s talk about something else. Do you girls have anything planned for today, because I sure as hell don’t, and I’m not about to spend my Sunday buried under blankets crying.’ Your jaw was set and you were drying your tears. Nat and Wanda smiled at you, concern still in their eyes, but they were glad you were dusting yourself off. They were going to get you through this.

‘As a matter of fact,’ said Nat, flopping down on your bed with a flourish. ‘We were thinking about heading to the mall for a girl’s day. Movie, lunch, shopping, the whole lot. Of course, I’d rather be in the gym, but you know Wanda.’ She rolled her eyes with exaggeration and earned a playful smack from Wanda.

You smiled and followed them out of your room, closing the door on your misery and betrayal. 

–

Bucky was a mess. He’d spent the rest of last night sulking at the bar, downing glass after glass of whisky, knowing he couldn’t get drunk to ease his pain and feeling worse and worse with every drop of the burning liquid. All it did was remind him of you. Of your eyes, your burning heat and warmth. Of how much he needed you. It scared him to realise just how deeply you affected him.

Now he was pacing in his room, his phone in hand as it had been all night, not knowing whether he should text you or not, not knowing what to say to you. He wanted to tell you the blonde girl was nothing to him, that she’d been drunk and forced herself on him before he was able to stop her. But then he thought of you and Steve, or even you and Parker, and he found himself thinking you probably didn’t even care whether a girl kissed him or not. 

Finally, he threw his phone on his bed and got dressed. If you’d been upset you’d have texted by now asking to talk or something. He’d just have to come to terms with the fact that you just didn’t feel the same way about him. That you’d probably soon be with his best friend.

Sam and Steve were sitting outside in the living room watching TV when Bucky finally left his room. 

‘Hey, where you been, man?’ asked Steve. ‘We’ve been waiting for you. I was thinking about doing a barbecue this afternoon and asking the whole team to come. Think it would be fun, like a continuation of last night, you know? Since we never got to have a more private affair with just the team once the party wound down. Do you, uh… do you know where the girls went?’

Sam was watching Bucky the whole time Steve was speaking, being uncharacteristically quiet. He saw how Bucky’s muscles tensed at the mention of last night, and how he gritted his teeth when Steve asked about the girls… or more specifically, one girl in particular.

‘No idea,’ was all Bucky said as he stalked over to the fridge and got himself a juice. 

‘Okay, well, I’ll text Y/N while I’m on the way to the mall. Need to get supplies for the barbecue if I’m going to actually do it. Hey, could you and Sam help get the word out to the team? Tell them it’s important. Tell them it’s a team-bonding activity.’ He was grabbing his car keys and his wallet and heading for the lift.

‘I gotta be honest, I don’t think we need more bonding, Steve,’ said Sam in a straight tone. ‘We’re all friends here. _Right, Buck _?’ His dark eyes bore into Bucky with a strange intensity.

‘Mm-hm.’ Bucky focussed on his juice.

‘Still, it’s nice to be with everyone when we’re not on a mission or hosting training sessions. It’ll be fun,’ Steve said, stepping into the lift.

With Steve gone, Sam turned to Bucky instantly. ‘Okay, what happened last night?’

‘You saw what happened. That damn girl kissed me, and Y/N saw, and then… I don’t know, I’m not sure she was even bothered by it. She was probably too busy getting lost in our Captain’s eyes,’ he sneered, pretending like his words weren’t cutting deep into his heart. He softened. ‘But we’d been having such a great night. We were really hitting it off, or at least I think we were. I haven’t done this in so long, I’ve forgot how to tell whether it’s going well or not.’

‘You haven’t forgot, Bucko,’ said Sam, flipping the TV off and coming to stand by his friend. ‘Tell me everything.’

Sam was surprised when Bucky didn’t resist. He was expecting him to get defensive and tense and to tell him to fuck off and mind his own business, but Bucky sat down and poured his heart out. He needed to offload. These feelings were just too strong and overwhelming to keep in. Sam watched as _the Winter Soldier _, ex-assassin and killing machine, big and tough and made of metal (partially), crumbled before him. He had never seen him like this before.

‘I told her her eyes look like whisky,’ Bucky whispered hoarsely. ‘But now I realise they’re more than that. They’re chocolate and whisky, melted into sweetness and warmth and limitlessness.’

‘Man, you ever thought of writing love poetry?’ said Sam, teasing gently, his hand on his friend’s shoulder. ‘Though, I gotta say that was a bit overkill.’

Bucky didn’t seem to hear him. ‘I left her for two seconds, just to go to the bathroom, and I come back and _he’s _there. Cosied up to her with his hands all over her, and she looks right at me as if I never mattered at all. I couldn’t go back to her when he was there. I knew I’d do something stupid. And the anger made me get cocky. I guess I started flirting with that blonde and one thing led to another and… and then I lost my chance.’

‘Look, she’ll be at Steve’s barbecue. Just tell her how you fell and be done with it.’

‘But she doesn’t feel the same!’ Bucky snarled.

‘How do you know that? In everything you’ve told me, she’s never been the one to make the move, it’s always the other guys. She probably doesn’t know what to do with all the attention. You definitely don’t have any concrete proof that she doesn’t like you. And for one thing, her storming out shortly after seeing you kiss another girl makes me think maybe she was upset.’

‘You think I upset her?’ Bucky’s eyes were panicked. ‘But it wasn’t me! It was the blonde –’

‘But she doesn’t know that. Just talk to her. Clear it up.’ Sam was sympathetic. ‘Come on, we should tell everyone about the barbecue. 

Bucky sighed heavily, guilt and regret deep in his chest. If he hadn’t have got all proud and indignant and refused to go back to her the minute he saw Steve in the picture, none of this would have happened. If he hadn’t started flirting with other girls out of his jealousy…

He nodded at Sam and they set off in search of their team members.


	7. Bucky

‘Where is she? Why isn’t she here yet?’ Bucky was fidgeting with the zip of his leather jacket as he stood with Sam in the facility’s back garden. Steve was busy grilling away at the barbecue, Tony and Harry chatting away by his side. Clint, Peter, Banner and Strange were standing around with beers in hand, discussing their latest missions.

‘Calm down, man.’ Sam took a swig of his beer. ‘The girls always like to arrive fashionably late. They like to remind us how boring we are as a group without them.’ He nodded in the direction of the guys. ‘I’m really the only one holding us up, fun-wise.’

‘Well, you’re not doing a very good job of it,’ Bucky mumbled.

‘Hey, it’s a big job for one man. Come on, I think it’s time for another dose of Falcon Fun. They’re really struggling without me.’ Sam headed off in their direction, leaving Bucky standing on his own just as you, Wanda and Nat pushed out into the garden.

Bucky brightened instantly at the sight of you, but you looked away the moment you saw him. You’d been busy today. The girls had taken you shopping, and you’d found a beautiful brown leather jacket that hugged your body flatteringly and brought out the brown of your eyes and the almost imperceptible reddish hues of your hair. You wore it over a short mustard high-neck jumper dress, so that you looked like an autumnal goddess in front of the red-leafed trees. It was so you, and Bucky was struck dumb as he contemplated how you never failed to take his breath away. 

He wanted to approach you, ask you if you were okay, if you were feeling better after whatever it was last night that had caused you to leave early, and to somehow ever-so-casually let slip the fact that he didn’t mean for that blonde to kiss him, that his body and soul belonged to you, whether you felt the same or not. If he’d had a shot with you before that kiss, he wanted to make sure you knew that it meant nothing to him and that he wished he’d never left your side.

But the second you saw him you turned and made a beeline for the rest of the team as they stood chatting. Nat and Wanda both threw him deadly glares before turning to follow you, much to Bucky’s confusion. The guys cheered and welcomed the girls back gladly, handing you, Nat and Wanda a beer each. Bucky felt as if a knife had been twisted in his chest.

Slowly, he joined the group and stood silently next to Sam, listening to the conversation.

‘Nice jacket, Y/N,’ said Clint as Nat tucked herself under his arm. ‘It really suits you.’ Peter was quick to nod his agreement.

‘Your really think so? Thanks!’ You beamed, and Bucky watched as every guy there melted under the brightness of your smile. Despite his jealousy, he couldn’t help but feel the same effect, and for a moment he was too besotted with how adorable you were to be jealous.

‘Yeah, with that leather jacket you’re turning into Barnes. Maybe you two are soulmates or something,’ Clint chuckled at what he thought was a harmless quip. But he didn’t miss how Nat tensed under his arm, and how both you and Bucky turned bright red. Wanda swallowed nervously and Sam just stood there smirking. Clint was smart enough to put two and two together and promptly shut up.

‘Hey, Y/N!’ Tony was waving you over to where he and your brother stood by Steve at the grill. Bucky could see you were glad of an excuse to get away from the awkwardness of the situation, and he watched with a sigh as you scurried away. When he saw Steve kiss the top of your head in greeting, he let out a deep growl and Sam had to grab him by the shoulders as he made a step towards you.

‘Hey, Buck, chill, just calm down and drink your beer,’ Sam whispered, holding him back and directing his attention to the rest of the team who were silently watching on. ‘You’re not exactly being subtle.’

‘Oh… _shit _,’ said Peter.

Bucky finally calmed down enough to realise how obvious he’d been. His cheeks reddened when he thought about the fact that the entire team had just heard him _growl _. 

‘Barnes… this whole time?’ asked Bruce gently. ‘You’ve liked her all along?’

All Bucky could do was nod silently and down the rest of his beer in one. 

Peter had turned pale. ‘Is that why she pushed me away last night?’ he whispered so that only Wanda could hear him. Wanda nodded apologetically. ‘Shit. How did I not see it before?’ he breathed.

‘I’m sorry, I might be wrong here, but didn’t I see you making out with some girl at the party last night?’ Stephen Strange spoke up in a cool tone.

‘No! I didn’t – well, I did… it wasn’t my fault, _she _kissed me,’ Bucky stuttered, running a hand through his hair.

‘Ohh… you really need to tell her that, because she thinks you’d just been using her to get your game back before moving on to prettier girls,’ said Wanda, her expression softening for the first time since she’d set eyes on him when they arrived. He realised the reason she and Nat had been staring daggers at him was because they thought he’d screwed over Y/N on purpose.

‘ _Prettier _?’ Bucky sputtered before he could stop himself. ‘Than _her _? I…’ he trailed off, embarrassed. Suddenly his eyes widened. ‘Wait, are you saying she… is she upset? Does she care?’ He winced at how it sounded, but he had to ask.

Nat nodded solemnly. ‘Let’s just say she was _not _in a good state this morning. You need to talk to her and get this whole thing cleared up before anyone gets hurt any more than they already are.’

‘Man, that’s what _I _said!’ Sam said loudly, exasperated.

But Bucky was already turning away, heading off towards you with determination set in his jaw, only to be stopped in his tracks by a sight that tore his gut. You were cuddled up into Steve’s side and his arm was wrapped around your shoulder as the other hand flipped burgers on the grill. You were looking up at him and Bucky was heartbroken when he saw the happy smile on your face, the light in your eyes. Tony was grinning at the two of you, saying, ‘I’m leaving you guys now. You two are sickening.’ He and a gagging Harry strode over to the rest of the team, only to find everyone silent and frozen in place, and Bucky looking as though the life had just been torn out of him.

‘Hey, are you guys okay? You all look like you’ve just seen a ghost,’ said Tony.

Bucky seemed to have regained his breath, and he turned away without a word, moving fast away from everyone, making for the door. But before he could push his way back into the building, Steve’s voice stopped him. ‘Buck! Where you going? The burgers are ready, and we’re gonna play some games now.’

Turning around again was agonising and Bucky fought back a scream. He took a deep, deep breath, opened his eyes, and found your face, watching him from his best friend’s side with… was that a hint of concern? He steeled himself, his eyes hard and cold. He wasn’t going to let you see what you did to him, how deep you could cut him.

‘Fine. But I’ll only stay if there’s whisky at this shitshow.’

An hour later and the sun was setting. Bucky had managed to get through the hour with only one broken glass out of five whiskys. It was taking everything in him not to lunge at Steve and beat his best friend’s ass to the floor. So far he’d had his hands all over you, never letting you get far away from him. 

‘Hey, kids, we’re playing truth or dare now,’ Tony informed everyone as he sat down at the wooden table. Everyone groaned but obliged. No one had anything better to do anyway.

The last thing Bucky felt like doing was taking part in a juvenile game like this, but he had an act to keep up. He was going to show everyone just how fine he was with… _this _. He knew he was going to have to get used to it at this point. So he forced himself to sit.

‘Okay, we’ll start with Sparky. Truth or dare?’ Tony asked gleefully.

‘Dare,’ said Harry, quirking an eyebrow arrogantly and winking at Wanda. She giggled.

Tony noticed. He smirked evilly. ‘I dare you to kiss Wanda.’

The smile was wiped off of both Harry and Wanda’s faces. Harry had been so cocksure just a second ago, yet now his cheeks were red and he was running a hand nervously through his hair. ‘I.. no, she wouldn’t want…’

‘Come on!’

‘Do it!’

‘Just kiss her!’

The team was egging him on, and Wanda gave him a shy smile. He leaned towards her and gave her a soft kiss. She kissed him back. Soon they were making out. Everyone laughed and cheered, glad that at least one budding relationship was headed in the right direction.

Soon it was Bucky’s turn. He shuffled in his seat as Sam asked him the question. ‘Truth or dare?’ There was a dangerous glint in his eye, as if he were scheming. Bucky didn’t want to chance on a dare with Sam, so he played it safe. ‘Truth.’ 

Sam nodded. ‘Do you like the girl you kissed last night at the party?’

Bucky flinched. Everyone was silent. Y/N looked away, studying the sunset over the trees. Bucky took a deep breath and looked directly at you. ‘No. I have no feelings for her at all.’ You turned and your eyes met his. You saw the guilt and the regret and the pain in his blue eyes as he went on. ‘She was drunk, and she kissed me, but I stopped it. I didn’t mean for things to go that far. I don’t like her. I…’ His eyes bore into yours and you could feel yourself tearing up again. You swallowed nervously. ‘... need another whisky. Excuse me.’ And with that, he rushed for the door, not caring that his act was crumbling, not caring that everyone could see just how hurt he was, not caring because he had said what he needed to say and all he wanted to do now was lock himself in his room and mope.

And that’s just what he did.


	8. You

The garden was left in silence. You felt miserable. Of course you’d gone and overthought everything and ruined your chances with Bucky by trying to get back at him through Steve, when in fact he was completely innocent. Yet there was also relief and joy. _He didn’t like her. He didn’t want to kiss her. He hadn’t been using you to get his game back. _

Before you were even aware of what you were doing, you got up abruptly and started running.

‘Y/N!’ Steve yelled after you when you yanked yourself away and sprinted for the door. ‘Where are you going?’

You didn’t turn, you didn’t answer. You couldn’t face your guilt. You’d used Steve because you were upset about Bucky, and Steve didn’t deserve that. You made a note to yourself to apologise to him and clear the air later. But for now, you just needed to find Bucky. To talk. You rammed the elevator button and waited impatiently as the lift took you up to the compound.

Taking deep breaths, you tried to calm your nerves as you made for Bucky’s door. Sudden panic seized you as you prepared to knock. What were you really expecting from this? _Why is this all so damn confusing? _you thought, cursing under your breath with your nerves. But then you saw Bucky’s face in your mind, felt his aura on the other side of the door, and the thought of those cool blue eyes calmed you. You took a deep breath and knocked.

There was no answer. His aura hadn’t moved an inch. You were tense again, terrified, so much so that you thought you might cry. Just as you felt the telltale lump in your throat, the burning behind your eyes that you’d become so used to recently, you felt his aura move, and the slow sound of his footsteps approaching the door. 

Your eyes met immediately as he opened the door. He’d arranged his face into an expression of hard indifference, but you could see he’d been upset. The moment he saw the tears threatening to engulf your brown eyes, his face softened and all you could see were his blue, blue eyes, concerned and beautiful, filling your vision.

You stood in silence. Your mind blanked. You didn’t know what to say. All you could do, all your body and your mind were capable of doing, was to stare into his eyes, where comfort waited for you.

Finally, you found your voice and tried to push your tears back. ‘I–I’m sorry,’ was all you could manage. You looked down. You couldn’t face those eyes anymore, those beautiful eyes that you’d betrayed and hurt and didn’t deserve the forgiveness of.

‘For what?’ came his soft reply. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong.’ A finger curled under your chin and brought your face up to look at him again. He was surprisingly calm. 

‘I–I was upset,’ you mumbled, not really knowing what to say. ‘I really did enjoy the party with you. For the first time in years, I –’ you couldn’t finish. You were swallowing tears and feelings, suppressing them with all the control you had.

‘I know,’ he said. ‘I had fun, too. I’m the one who should be apologising. I was the one who went and ruined that night… for both of us.’ He snorted bitterly, and you could hear the regret in his voice.

‘You made me feel… normal again. Calm. At ease. All of that, from one night with you at the party. And then…’

‘I’m so sorry, doll,’ he said. He flinched as the word left his lips. You blushed. He ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat. ‘I saw you with Steve and I just… I don’t know what came over me, and I couldn’t face the two of you together so I left. I’m sorry.’

‘I was waiting for you.’ You looked down, pouting.

There was silence. Something in the air changed slightly, and you sensed his aura heating up. He moved closer, and you looked up at him. Before you knew what was happening, his lips were crashing down on yours, your arms were flung around his neck and his hands were on your waist and your back.

You’d never felt more comfortable than you did now, in his arms, pressed against him, breathing in his scent and his lips. You felt him smile against you as he finally pulled away somewhat reluctantly and rested his forehead against yours. ‘You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,’ he whispered, his blue eyes luring you further into him.

You smiled and kissed him again, gently this time. ‘Me too.’ You were content to stand there wrapped up in his arms, pressed against his strong chest, forever. But that was when you felt the auras of the rest of the team in the elevator. ‘They’re coming,’ you whispered, pulling away slightly. Bucky dragged his hands off you with some effort and you found yourself longing for his touch already.

‘See you later?’ you said, smiling happily.

He nodded. Just before the lift doors opened, you kissed him quickly once more and sprinted to your room.


	9. You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been inactive for almost a month. Hopefully things will start moving forwards much faster now between Bucky and the reader. and we may actually get some actual! interaction!

'Team, we're shipping out tomorrow morning,' came Tony's voice as the lift doors slid open. Everyone was lazing around in the common room half-watching an old romantic film. You'd been squashed in between Nat and Wanda, but every now and then your eyes would flick over to where Bucky was leaning against the wall next to Sam. His arms were crossed and the muscles bulged under his deliberately-tight shirt.

'What? Where are we going? What's the mission?' Steve got up, brow furrowed. You hadn't spoken to him or Bucky since the garden party last night.

'London,' said Tony. Immediately you and Harry leapt up and grinned like fools. London! You were going home! He ran across the room to you and squashed you to his side, ruffling your hair and laughing. 

'We're going to give you guys the full tour,' you squealed happily. You didn't see Bucky's face, soft and adoring as he noted the pure joy sparkling in your eyes.

'If we have time, that is,' said Tony. 'Our target could potentially be a dangerous HYDRA higher-up. FRIDAY has gathered intel on him and his many, _many_ associates working around London, and it looks like it could be a tough job. He's holding a gala of some sort in a week, a sort of HYDRA meeting and dealing in disguise. We'll be there for the lead up to the gala, and later we'll need to find a way to infiltrate it without being discovered.'

'Lead up? That gives us plenty of time,' said Harry, grinning.

Tony chuckled. 'Yeah, I hope so. It should be fun, but we have to be on our guard at all times. This could turn out to be much bigger than we expect.'

'How come I haven't been briefed on any of this?' Steve was pouting.

'You're being briefed now,' said Tony.

With that, the team was dismissed to pack and get ready for the mission. On your way to your room, you locked eyes with Bucky. The living room was empty, and you chanced a small smile. 'Hi,' you whispered shyly.

He grinned at your sweetness, stepping towards you and ghosting his fingers over your hips. 'Excited for the trip?' he asked, his voice low and gentle. You nodded as you stared up at him, unable to contain your happiness and very aware of the shivers his fingertips were sending up your spine.

'Good,' he whispered and leaned down to brush his nose ever so gently against yours. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your face as you squirmed with excitement, breathless and entranced by his touch. 'I'm looking forwards to it.' With that, he stepped to the side and made for his room. You hadn't realised how close you'd been standing until he was gone and it was just cold, empty space in front of you.

It took you a moment to gather your breathing enough to clear your throat and leave for your room. Neither of you had noticed a certain Captain peering out from the crack of his door, his face muddled in confusion.

–

'Harry, get your ass on the jet!' Sam screeched as your brother came stumbling out, his eyes still groggy with sleep. 'Steve's been yakking away for at least fifteen minutes now – something about needing to be _punctual_.'

You hauled your brother onto the jet as he mumbled a quiet, 'Sorry, Cap.' You steered him into a seat next to Clint and Natasha, who were busy chatting and trading knives to sharpen. Wanda immediately plonked herself down next to him and began fussing over his hair. You smiled at the two of them, turning away to find Steve looking at you with an odd expression on his face. He glanced away when he caught you looking, but you were puzzled by the look. You eyed him in your peripheral vision and noticed him staring at Bucky next, the same odd look in his eyes. You realised they hadn't been speaking to each other much in the last few days – odd, considering they were meant to be best friends.

You shrugged and settled happily into your seat as the jet took flight. You were going back to your hometown. And you had a feeling it was going to be a _very_ exciting mission.


End file.
